News in Brief: Kid Rock Doesn’t Like People Looking At His Waffles Edition
By Lee | October 24, 2007
Kid Rock was arrested yesterday for a fight at a Waffle House in Alabama. He must have been upset by the fact that they were all out of lobster bisque. Actually, if you are in Kid Rock’s entourage visiting a Waffle House in Alabama and you don’t get arrested, then you know something is wrong.
Death Cab For Cutie is being sent to an Eastern European secret torture prison where Dick Cheney gets off on titty-twisting indie rockers. Well, not yet … but soon! This weekend, guitarist Chris Walla’s solo album master tapes were seized at the Canadian border. Representatives of the band say it was because of the anti-Bush lyrics in the songs. The Bush Administration is saying they did it just to protect America against all Canadian music. We are just starting to get our lives together after the disaster that is Bryan Adams.
More very brief news: Someone I’ve never heard of steals Oasis music, somewhere a blues musician is weeping. Fire destroys homes in Malbu. Homeless Celebrities and their 10 adopted children have to slum it out in their second home.
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News In Brief: Cross Dressing Addition
By Lee | October 18, 2007
The Spice Girls are back. I can’t live without their greatest hits album. They did “Mmmmm…bop” right? Regardless, I’m still going to have to go to Victoria’s Secret to buy myself another set of matching bra and panties. What? They are comfortable and I need the support for my supple man-breasts.
Led Zepplin plans grand reunion tour. Robert Plant says, “Maybe now my kids will know who I am.”
Diddy punches a guy at a night club. Punching people yourself Diddy? Don’t you hire people to do that for you? They already wipe your ass with silk. How much more money do you got to pay a guy to commit your criminal assults for you?
More Radiohead news. The Classic Radiohead album, “OK Computer” is being made into a radio play for the BBC. Act 1 takes place on a empty stage and nothing happens. Every once in a while there is a a computer noise or someone crying. Act 2 is the same. Act 3 somehow adds unicorns.
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MVOTD: Orbital
By Jim | October 17, 2007
I don’t usually like techno/electronica stuff, but Orbital’s “Halcyon and On and On” rocks. The video is perfect for all you cubicle workers looking to space out for 10 minutes. Enjoy.
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Audiophile Anarchy!
By Jim | October 17, 2007
Radiohead fans are angry. Very angry. It seems everyone’s favorite English “emo-but-still-awesome” band might have had ulterior motives in releasing their new record “In Rainbows” online with no set price. The song files, playing at a rate of 10×160 kilobits per second, lack the quality most Radiohead songs possess — at least 320 kilobits — and come nowhere close to the kilobits of a compact disc. How, our audiophile friends implore, can one appreciate Radiohead when one cannot hear the magical subtleties that make Radiohead great?
Of course, as the MTV article points out, a large number of people will listen to this record on iPod headphones, which would negate the higher quality 320 kilobit tracks anyway, and that the only way to truly hear the difference is to use a good stereo. So, clearly the audiophile masses feel some unrest, while the majority of us music fans snicker and say, “Ha, you punkasses can’t even appreciate your favorite band giving you something for free.”
What’s worse, fans now fear that Radiohead’s “experiment” — not setting a price for their music in order to shake up the failing music industry — might have been a marketing ploy as opposed to rebellion. Perhaps, fans claim, the band told their fans about the kilobit rate right before they released the record in order to help promote the physical sale of the CD. These folks argue that most people would understand the auditory difference between numbers such as 160, 190, 320, and CD quality, and would therefore buy the record in addition to paying whatever for the “teaser” versions of songs online.
Some smart people recognized that bands usually make $1 for every physical unit sold in stores or online. This would lead one to believe that Radiohead, operating without the record company as middleman, stood to make a hefty profit from fans who believed in the “experiment” and felt strongly about paying the artists for their work. This may or may not be true, but one thing is certain: If Radiohead do indeed have ulterior motives, they stand to rake in mucho dinero. Capitalist? Yes, sir. Dirty trickery? Guilty.
So, what can us peons do? Audiophiles of the world, unite! Unhappy fans, unite! Together we can change the system, whether it be through our music listening pretensions or our sadness at feeling duped by artists we revere for no good reason! Arise! To (sort of) quote the Vandals: “Anarchy Burger! Hold the Radiohead!”
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MVOTD: How Pop Songs Are Made
By Lee | October 12, 2007
This video comes to you all from collegehumor.com. “This is, more or less, how they put together a Britney Spears album”
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MVOTD: It’s easy…just put your lips together!
By video | October 11, 2007
You may know Sweden for tall blonds and godlessness, but I know them for Peter,Bjorn, & John. This Scandinavian indie trio has been around for almost ten years, but are best known for their great single and video “The Young Folks.” Check it out.
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Bob Dylan as a Chick
By Jim | October 11, 2007
So, the rock biopic. Dun dun dun!
This piece tackles a very important question, one that our leaders in Washington have ignored for too long: How do you make a good, original film about a rock star?
Must Hollywood subject us to the same “rise-up-fall-down-rise-again” mold that characterizes a somewhat accurate portrayal of the superficial facts most people know about famous musicians’ lives? Can filmmakers actually take us on a journey that reveals as much about the filmmaker as it does about the life of his subject? How could Alberto Gonzalez, in all his secret dealings, not have instituted a torture rule on sub-par plot development, casting, and cinematography in an evolving art form? It’s unbelievable, honestly.
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Point/Counterpoint: Radiohead
By Will | October 11, 2007
With all due respect to the Onion for the format and fellow Dim7 brotha Lee (yeah that’s right, I said brotha), Radiohead does NOT suck. Just ’cause something is self indulgent in its depressive tone, does not mean it is emo or bad music. Thom Yorke is emo. His music is not. The pencil-head little prick knows how to craft a song. To be fair, I have not heard the new album, so perhaps now they DO suck.
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News In Brief: Radiohead Still Sucks, But At Reduced Price
By Lee | October 11, 2007
Radiohead releases their album online with a sliding payment scale. Some people care, and talk about how this is the greatest thing ever now that record companies are obsolete. Then the RIAA sues those people.
You might wonder why this author hates Radiohead. It’s only two small steps away from Emo. Don’t do it, kids. Don’t walk down the path to the dark side. Listen to good music.
Madonna is about to sign a $120 million dollar deal with a new record label. You can buy a lot of African babies, or Britney Spears’ babies, for that money.
Christina Aguilera and Aretha Franklin plan to write a duet together. The song will be about whoring and then eating a very big sandwich.
Bobby Brown does not have a heart attack. Instead he just does lots and lots of crack.
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MVOTD: Greatest Movie Intro Ever
By video | October 10, 2007
‘Nuff said. Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie intro is awesome.
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